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Love and Relationships 17 April, 2006

Posted by Steve Cabrera in Uncategorized.

nice picLove is Extremely Painful, but will never harm you.

People seem to be confused about the whole notion of love. Love seems to be a dangerous topic for most people – especially single people. There is a fundamental misunderstanding of what love actually is.

Mostly people confuse love with a specific type of relationship most closely associated with marriage or someone's 'life partner'. The notion is that love is given to this person to some sort of exclusion of others.

I think they confuse love for some notion of exclusivity. There seems to be some danger in allowing oneself to experience love for one other than your "one and only". If you love another, you are indulging in infidelity! If you allow this, you are certainly destroying your relationship with your partner and risk throwing your lot in with someone who might NOT be your "true love". This notion of a "one true love" is nonsense. Love here is confused with relationship.

Relationship is difference from love. There are infinite kinds of relationships – friendship, brotherhood, motherhood, comradeship, business alliances, intimate personal partnerships of all shapes and sizes. Love is something else. Love is that which calls for deep and personal relationships (with another or even yourself). Love calls for the wellbeing, self-expression and development of all concerned.

I wholeheartedly encourage all to fall as deeply in love with as much of life as you can stand (people, things, ideas, yourself) – and then stretch yourself a bit – to the point of pain. Love will never harm you – although it is certainly extremely painful. Its crushes, its passions, devotions and heart break. These are signs of love truly expressed – relish them.

Love is not scarce. Love is infinitely abundant and available. There is no need to withhold love for fear of there not being enough to go around. Over time love deepens in intimacy and complexion. Over time relationships change as well. What is there to fear from this? Authentic love always calls for the care for all concerned – there is no risk of an inappropriate relationship within authentic love.



1. Rod E. Smith, MSMFT - 1 May, 2006

good post — I like it — Rod Smith

True Love will never harm you — its counterfeits will do you much harm!

2. Confluence - 19 June, 2008

Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

cheers, Confluence.

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